How I Deal With FOMO


As I mentioned in my last note to you, leading up to our wedding I had several practices that were resources to help me feel prepared and grounded for this big event and transition in my life. Today, I want to share the biggest insight with you today because I feel like it deserves the most attention.

One of the most common fears I’ve heard from married people is how they worried the wedding day would go by in a flash and it would be like a blur. Each time someone said this to me, it was planting a seed of concern within me that I, too, was in danger of missing out on fully experiencing this one event that I was putting so much thought and consideration and love into. At the same time, this concern was growing into a fear that I wouldn’t receive or be able to take in all of the love and support that our closest family and friends would be giving us.

In other words, I realized that I was having a serious case of FOMO – the Fear Of Missing Out. On my own wedding day, go figure!

I was really worried about missing out on this special day, that it would flash by in a blur, that I wouldn’t receive enough, and that I might get overwhelmed.

With the energy of FOMO I was bringing the energy of lack, and that I wouldn’t get enough, wouldn’t receive enough of the love, wouldn’t have enough fun, that whatever I experienced wouldn’t be enough. And right next to those fears was the fear that I would be overwhelmed by being surrounded by all of these loved ones, and that it would be too much for me to take in all of the love.

I thought about this, and acknowledged these fears as friends that had insightful messages for me to hear.  When I listened to the fears and asked what I was meant to hear, I immediately could sense that this was not the way I wanted to be or feel on my wedding day. It was not the energy that I wanted to bring or attract.

I thought about other moments in my life… how when I’m having a really delicious meal, I’m not worried that I might not receive enough of the nutrients of what I am consuming. I am in enjoyment, and trusting that my body is receiving exactly what I need, without me having to think about it.

Similarly when I am in a Pilates class I am not worried that my muscles are not responding to the movements. Instead I am in enjoyment of moving, breathing, stretching, engaging, and trusting that my body is responding in the way that will best support it at this time.

In these moments I also trust that I will hear, listen, and acknowledge the signals from my body on what my limits are. In the Pilates class, I will respect the signals of when I’m on the edge of pushing my body too far, and will rest or resign in my movement. When I’m eating a delicious meal I trust that I will hear the signals of my body when I am full or have consumed enough.

The message I received was that I wanted to bring the energy of joy and trust to my wedding day. I knew that I could trust that I would receive exactly what I was meant to, I could trust my body would let me know if I was feeling a little full and needed a quiet moment to step away, and I could trust that I didn’t need to do anything or give anything in order to receive the love that would surround me.

I could trust that in my bringing the energy of joy, I would feel and experience the joy of the moment. At the same time, I could trust that I could also hold both the sadness and the joy that would be present and right alongside each other on that day, with both my parents and Eddy’s mom unable to be physically present with us, but open to feeling and receiving their spiritual presence, love, and support.

With this insight as I was moving through my everyday leading up to the wedding and following it, I have been bringing attention to moments when I am receiving and acknowledging how it feels.

With this practice of bringing attention to moments in my everyday when I am on the receiving end, I began to feel how I didn’t have to do anything to receive. I began dissolving the idea that I would have to give something, or do something in order to receive. One of the most powerful real-life practices for me was to be aware of when I was swimming, how my body was automatically absorbing and receiving the water that I was swimming in, just by being in the water.  Bringing my attention to how even though I may not have wanted to absorb the chlorine  that just by being in the environment of the pool that I was receiving. This reaffirmed that I just have to BE, in order to receive.

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed: Many self-help and personal development articles out there talk about things that you can DO and ACTIONS you can take. What if you actually didn’t have to DO anything, and instead were able to just BE? What if instead of buying into the FOMO-induced myth of having to do more to receive more, you could trust that who you are being and the energy you are bringing to a situation is all you need?

That’s the thought I’d like to leave you with you today. I know it had huge effects on my experience of daily living, and I’d be excited to hear how it lands for you.

If you’ve been moved by anything I’ve shared click reply -I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Can’t wait to hear from you!

Fran Darnell